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- Apr 19, 13
Today was one for the books.
Started off laid back. Ty and I had a chill morning. Lazy. Video games. Chatting. Game talk. Had a great baked egg dish Ty made.
Went downtown to meet Oma & Opa for java. Check gaming stores. Nice stroll in the sun. It was nice.
Then got to the Hotel to meet up and ended up having to call 911 for Opa who was in bed writhing in pain. That was rough. Spent the day waiting to hear what was up.
I've never experienced that. It's been a draining surreal day.
Thankfully I have the best bf who supports me fully. And just backed me up and lent a hand.
Eventually had to go cause had people coning over for gaming and there was nothing else we could do. Ended the day with a good gaming session. Now. I'm spent. - Apr 19, 13
Quarterfinals for Dodgeball today. We, Banana Hammock, won our first game last week. We are not skilled. Haha. That said its the best team ever. I have so much fun each Tuesday. And we're getting really good. Next Season I think we'll rock socks.
Daniel wants to meet (as do I) each week still and play frisby through the summer or something. I hope we do.
In related news Tyler's team, Dodgy Dodgy Gay Gay, (Did I mention this is a queer league) won quarter and semi finals. Avenging our loss by beating our victors. They go on to the Finals next week which I am looking forward too. - Apr 19, 13
Hanna was in town this weekend.
We went to Shawna's place. I got the time wrong and we were super late. I thought I had mentioned Hanna was coming...then found the text in the drafts folder. Then I forgot the champaign. Yeesh. It was rough. It ended up being really fun. Ty and I have to make brunch for the girls in payment.
On Saturday night I took Hanna and Tyler to Nikki Payne at YukYuks. It was funny. She's pretty amazing. A few twits in the crowd made it rough for her. Sorry about the Surrey girls Nikki.
Today we ended the weekend with going to a place called Red Wagon. It. Was. Amazing. Period. I have not had food like that in a long time. It was a great good bye to gluten. Tyler and I are going to be starting a new diet.
Not a "oh my gawd I'm fat and have to go on a diet to lose weight." No. This is more a "we're both having indigestion and issues sleeping and energy etc etc. lets try a new diet". So we're going to go on a modified version of the Paleo Diet. We both think that it sounds like it has some merit. Thought its a bit restrictive. So we're going to have a "free day" where we can eat what we want. (One meal for me. I'm into it a lot). After 30 days we'll evaluate it - Mar 30, 13
Time freaking has FLOWN BY!! It's already April 2013. It's crazy.
I think the last post I did here of any note was in June or something like that.
Silly procrastination. Tyler and I are still going well together. Been almost 10 months since it became "official". I'm still at Priape, though I am actively searching for a new job (have an interview next week for management at the LEGO store. That could be super amazing. Also trying at SFU seeing as I am waiting to hear if I am going there this fall. Was going to last year but my income was too far down. So try this year.
Lets see what else. Nothing really big I guess. We went on a couple trips to Osoyoos to visit Collin and Ash over last summer. That was super fun. In November my cousin Shane got married. Ty came with me to the wedding and we hung out with Mum & Dad a bit. They like him and he them. That's cool
Coming in the next couple months I have a surprise trip or two or Tyler and I. We want to start a veggie garden at the house. Things are better with the roommates. The weather is FINALLY getting nicer which makes it SUPER easy to be in a better mood.
I'm making an effort to be healthier too. Starting to run again, going to the gym, and cutting down my eating out even further. Doing things like Theatre Sports are a bit more expensive than I would like. And I am spending the money I saved mot smoking on coffee now. Yay new addiction. :/. Crap. Oh well. I'll jut beat it next.
I'm going to keep rambling... So fin for today
Ps helloooooooooo spring - Jun 10, 12
Just wasn't feeling it? Got shifted down the priority list? Got lazy?
Whatever the reason I have just not been posting.
It's been an interesting month. Living in a new place now. I no longer live down town and....I'm actually ok with it. Really. I like it. I am in a house now, a yard to play with, even got my first BBQ (which I put together from parts...AND it works properly!!!
Had the family Feast over the May Long and that was GREAT. Will have a movie up for it soon and my pictures.
Speaking of which. They will be updated and newly organized soon! Quite looking forward to that!!
Now full time at Priape. The Landscaping let me go. I'm not all that choked up. The money is sadder now. But the job was starting to get difficult to...like? and the boss was treating me like he was waiting for me to do something that would allow him to let me go. C'est la vie.
My Dungeons & Dragons game has gone on a hiatus. Makes me sad an hope it's not gone forever. For now it is though. Monday is the new game night and we are playing Star Wars. It's having problems starting up. Not due to lack of interest. More due to the universe an timing being a betch. I have it on the Obsidian Portal website again and will post links in here regularly cause I want to share.
I've been spending a great deal of time with Tyler as of late. It's been cool. I'm liking him a lot. Troy asked us at the BBQ if we were dating hahA, aaaaaaaand it had not come up yet. We kinda looked at each other and decided we were haha. I'm going with the flow. I am happy and he seems to be happy too. To me that along with honesty and good communication (even about the sex stuff) is key. So far we have all those things. Doesn't need a title or term to it.
EURO CUP 2012 started yesterday. Taking people to a bar that opens early to have brunch and watch the Spain v Italy game. Super excited for that tomorrow. My last brunch/meal out for a while. I'm poor.
Was a little too generous with my funds again. He cheaper ret and the. It smoking has made a HUGE difference. Still. I want to go to school in September. And I want to do so with as little help as possible. So big adjustment time.
I do this to myself every couple years. Hermit and come out with grand statements. It never seems to work. This time. I'm just going to do it. The quitting smoking and he move and he job and the guy. All these things have been happening cause I have been allowing...enabling them to happen. Not by MAKING them happen. It seems to be working for me so I am going to do that.
Anyways. Enough for tonight. I'm back. :) Whoot. Missed this.... - Apr 18, 12
Last night was good. Tyler came over and we just vegged in front of the ol' boob tube.
Watched CSI, Glee and Queer As Folk. He never watched it when it was on so I'm introducing him to it now. He seems to like it. It was a good night. And was 11:30 before we knew it.
Wanted to laze in bed this morning. Sigh alas work called. I like my jobs, just wish they were later in the day. So I could stay in bed a little longer. Meh. Oh well.
Today was good, the rain stopped mid morning and the sun came out a couple times during lunch.
After lunch was pretty normal. Then, at 1:10, Kelly and I heard two loud cracks. Our conversation stopped and a third. They were gun shots. We dismissed it cause it was one of those "no, it can't be" moments. I went to the bathroom. On the way there I saw Matt and Max heading to the corner. I called for Kellly an we went to join them. Then they started to run so we did too. There was a body...
Some young guy had been shot. It was pretty...fucked up. It was fucked up. There was a hole on his temple and blood coming out of his mouth and nose and his eyes were just staring at the ground.
We were the first to arrive and there was some guy playing tennis in the court closed than us on the phone with the cops. He didn't come to the body. The cops came and took our statements... We went back to work for another 45 mins...Kelly was really good. He's seen worse shit than that. He kept me talking about Star Trek and Comics till I was a bit more responsive. Think he could tell it had gotten to me.
Now I am on my way home then to Priape. I keep seeing the body when I close my eyes. His eyes man. Ugh. Some humans are sick fucks.
I am good...I think...I don't know what to think. I have never seen a dead body like that. It was surreal. Real life should not look like the movies... - Apr 17, 12
Well I am moving into a new place. Out of down town. I found a place that is substantially cheaper. I will MIIIIIISS living downtown. When I am done school and may be able to afford it better I can move back. I am going to be near the sky train and a night bus and not that far out so over all it will not be a big deal.
Officially said good bye to more of my past yesterday. Had an argument with an old and very dear friend last year (over freaking text of all things...can't believe I got sucked ini that one) and he has decided that he didn't like that I didn't approve of a decision he made. He asked my opinion I gave it. Didn't like the choice he made, didn't mean I didn't like him any less or that I was even judging. Just not what I thought was a good idea. He stopped talking to me.
Fast forward to 7 months later. I drop him a face book message asking how he was and if we are going to be talking again. He sent me back a snide remark then blocked me. Sad. I sent him am email wishing him well in life and happiness and deleted the messages from my Facebook.
It makes me sad to be sure. Losing a friend like that. I can't do anything though right? I can't change someone's mind. So let it go. That's what this is. I had to vocalize it to make sure I was not being overly dramatic. I don't think so.
On a brighter note although I have not made a gayby with the lesbians yet we have found that I apparently have Super Sperm!!! Now we just have to figure out why there is no gayby yet. Sacrifice to the Baby Gods maybe?? - Mar 25, 12
It's an amazing day outside today. This weekend has been spectacular in fact. And it all ends tomorrow. As of tomorrow the rain doth begin and it's here for a whole week. Ugh.
Oh well. Laundry day and walking the sea wall with Tyler. Yay. - Mar 19, 12
So I've been down for the last few weeks. Not depressed really...just...blah. I think mostly I've just been focusing on the wrong stuff.
Rather than dwelling on the shit that's getting to me thought I am going to try a different tactic. I have finally been getting back into my meditation and Buddhism. It's been helpfull. One of the tactics is to not simply ignore the stuff that distracts you or threatens to bring you down (or super up for that matter) is to acknowledge it and then let it go. That has been one of my most trying weaknesses. I realized something today while I was hoeing though. When I right in here I seem to often manage to sort out whatever it is. This is my form of acknowledging. And I have not been keeping up on it. Last year I was posting every day or two. I would post it and just feel better. It was inadvertently forcing me to see te good stuff that was happening every day in my life. And it IS good. That's just it. I'm just falling into the trap I used to fall into in Dawson. I foret about the positives and just dwell cause I get....antsy? impatient?
I've been here over a year now. I have not been anywhere for more than a year since 2008 and not before that since 2001. I've trained myself to be transient. Now for the first time in over a decade I am at a place in my life where the idea of being domestic and...still is not a terrifying thought.
I really like Vancouver. Ive made some great new friends reconnected with older ones and am able to be myself. Little previous judgements or "you never used to do that" type comments. My past is actually just that, when I allow it. Past.
Because I have been still I have been able to focus on things in my life that I have wished to change yet always managed to ignore or be lazy about. Now. Well I could still do that and am starting to. Which is why I am writing this...I choose to not do that again.
So here's my commitment to myself.
I will not leave Vancouver until I have a degree. I still have to nail that down, yet in fairness to myself I do have it down to two ideas.
I will have the body shape I know I can have by the summer and I will maintain it. I am not ugly or nearly as weak as I once was. I just know I can have more...more is not right...have.
I will start meditating and being more organized with my personal life. I am getting better at not being late anymore. Which is quite the accomplishment and my personal space is not nearly as chaotic as it once was. I just need to keep striving for better.
I will stop desiring things. I have everything I need when I really think about it. I just have keep reminding myself that.
And for me the big one right now is I am not going to dwell on the fact that I do not have a boyfriend in my life. I know it will happen. That old cliché that you have to love yourself before someone else can love you is really true I've been noticing this year. And everyone I have been falling for recently, especially this last one, are not wise decisions for me. So when it's time it will happen. I just have to remember that. - Mar 13, 12
One year. Well over that now. March 7. That was one year in Vancouver. It's been one year. I'm still in a little shock and it's still throwing me off. I have not stayed in one place consistently for one year for 4 years. And that was only a year ish. Before that it was another 6 years. It's...odd.
I know one thing. I need to make sure that I get my butt moving and actually enact the plans I have. I'm not a spring chicken anymore no matter how I feel :P. I'm not depressed or even frustrated with myself, just realizing that I am a creature of habit...good or bad. So? Use that to my advantage. Eliminate the bad habits and focus on the good ones.
I have been finding that I do well with patterns. Better then if I just let it all fly in the wind. So plans? You're on notice. You are the tool I am going to use to make 2012 my bitch. - Feb 27, 12
Monday Sunrise
Well it was a good long weekend.
Snow day started it off on Friday. Stayed in most the day. Went to Dawn's place for penis shaped cupcakes and drinks in honor of my bday. It was fun. She lives a bit away though not going to lie. Other than that I did basically nothing by play on my computer.
Saturday was the exact opposite. I don't know if it was the sun. Or the lazy day before or what. I was insane motivated on Sat. I cleaned my living room, my bedroom, my bathroom. Hardcore. Scrubbed it all down. Like really scrubbed. It looks really really good. Quite happy with it. Just gotta keep it that way.
Started my exercises again too. Kinda feels good to be doing it. Just...Not a fan. Maybe I'll feel better once I start SEEING results. I just am so close to being where I want to be in large so I ignore if I don't get there now it's ONLY my fault. So. It's what I do. Haha my friend Collin an I are long distance work out buddies. He's kicking my ass hahaha oi. - Feb 23, 12
I woke up to a message from a good friend in Texas yesterday morning:
"The Physics of The Quest"
I've come to believe that there exists in the universe something I call The Physics of The Quest - A force of nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity or momentum. The Quest law goes like this. "if you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting (which can be anything from your house to a job to your bitter old resentments) and set out on a truth-seeking journey (externally or internally), and if you are truly willing to reguard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue, and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and if you are prepared - most of all - to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself...then truth will not be withheld from you.
Add to that my awesome horoscopeThen the movie I went to watch, CHRONICLE, with some of my favorite people. I even got to play a bit of Star Trek and had a half day at work. All in all. It was a fantastic birthday.
- Feb 18, 12
Just met two really cool guys (new friends I hope) at Priape today. I'm totes into one too. What can I say, sucker for a smile. I gave him my number then ran into them as I went on my lunch break. Ha a quick visit. Hope to them again. Ugh haha Did my usual blab when I'm a bit nervous thing. Haha yeesh.
- Feb 15, 12
Do you watch "How I met Your Mother"? Barney says "whenever I'm _____. I just stop being _____, an be awesome instead. True story." We'll Barney...CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So it's almost been a year since I have moved to Van, my birthday is in a week, my game is about to enter its 32 week, and 2011 was one of the best years I have ever had. Still I find myself not totally....impressed? No...satisfied? Yes. Not totally with my life. I'm not unhappy or depressed. Just things I see that I want to change.
I know a big part of this is due to my personality. I'm one of those ppl who is always striving to be better than I was or am. That's not a bad thing as long as I give myself credit when it's due.
So with that in mind I am pretty happy with the gongs I have done his far. I have two jobs that (when I budget right) pay alright and even more important allow me to live in Van, still DO stuff, and are both jobs I enjoy. I am eating better than I have since leaving home. Quit smoking. And thanks to the full time job I get daily exercise.
Still I wish to do better. And know I can. I still have tendency to fall back into old habits and patterns as we all do. I have to form new ones so I don't do that anymore. I'm in a LITLE debt, while its only a little it is still debt and I worked way too hard in 2010 to get rid of it to go back. I want to have a body I can "show off" I know it's vain. And admittedly that's part of why I want it. Mostly though I just want to feel good. And while beauty can sometimes be only skin deep I want my outside to reflect how I feel. And the biggest change of 2012 for me will e to continue to let things go. I am going to find some Tai Chi classes I can take and also possibly head to the Buddhist temple to get some help meditating. While some may scoff at this I find that it helps me focus and not be so scatter brained.
All of this is for me first. That's he most important thing. I figure that the old adages have something to them. To find others you have to first find yourself. Everyone says there is someone out there for me. So guy out there for me?? In getting ready for you. Taking a break looking for you ;) it's your turn to search for me. I'll be ready for you.
I may be a month and a half in and late. But 2012. Consider yourself on Notice. Prepare to be my bitch - Jan 12, 12
I hate when you can't sleep. I have to get up stupid early tomorrow to work and I feel only kinda tired. Sucks.
On the plus side I gave Mum her mother's day gift today. I got her at art showing here in Van at the café I go to.
OMIGOD AND MY QUEERLINGS CONE TOMORROW - Jan 09, 12My holidays have been good. Times is ZZOOOOOOMing along. Already January 9. And 2012 too!! WOW! I've had a great few weeks and it just keeps going.
Christmas was the gayest one I've ever had. ( yes I'm reclaiming that word to a positive thing!) My orphan's Xmas didn't go as planned. Xmas Eve was great. My friend Silver came over for the night. Then on the Day I went for dinner at my friend Brandon's apartment. We watched THE HELP, the had dinner, where the conversation was of the NSFW kind haha, then we watched Bette Middler Live in Vegas, the went to the bar for drinks. It was highly unorthodox. It was perfect.
New Year's Eve was just as good. I went with the Priape gang to Oasis for drinks. We danced and drank our faces off.
As for this week. Well I have a lot of shifts at Priape and even a couple small ones landscaping. Then this coming weekend in like only 3 sleeps in fact. My Queerlings are coming over for a few days to visit!!! I am really excited for that as I always have a good time when they visit!
As for future plans for this year? Well it tens out we are having a family feast over the May long weekend. I am stoked for that. Missed the last couple cause of work and trips and such. Will be good to see everyone again. Them in August if all goes well there will be a Pink House Reunion here in Vancouver for all the north American ppl who were there last year. The last group of Pinkies were definitely a tight group of people. It will be GRAND to see some of them again. - Dec 25, 11
Had a movie date with a guy I like today. Well see how it goes. We met through my job at Priape and have exchanged pleasantries a couple times since then. Then a couple days ago I went onto a website I have not been on in a while and we met up there. Texted a ridiculous amount, went for coffee, then today he came over and we watched a movie and cuddled on the couch.
It was great. I don't expect to hear from him much as its Christmas and he's with family and such. We're meant to be going shopping on Boxing day together. I have never done this so I am looking forward to it for the new experience and to hang out. Trying to not get overly excited. I like him though. He's pretty kick ass.
In other news, as it happens with only 6 days left in the year, I have found myself pondering this past year. It's been pretty incredible. Some good doses of sucky and a whopping dollop of awesome. I think I am going to write one of those tacky year end letters. I know there are a few people who read the blog so they might end up getting doubles. None the less. Getting stuff on the mail is pretty wicked.
I can see how Christmas could potentially be a depressing time for people. I mean I have good things going for me here and I am finally living in the now rather than the past. And at the same time I find myself missing things from my past. It would be easy to get lost in it all. I am not. Just saying not having Jweela, or my family, or the Pink House.....it's my first Christmas alone like that. I'm a little sad. And at the same time I have never been more.......at peace
Any ways. To whoever reads this. Whether its Christmas, Hanukah, Quanza, or simply Sunday. May it be a great one for you. And peace on earth good will towards men. Such a good happy time of year. - Dec 12, 11
My wife....well now mistress cause she got married....Francine took me on a date tonight. We went for sushi, visited and caught up. (Her family is going to Palm springs for xmas awesome). After that we went to a magic show. It was FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC between the show and Francine's "oh my god dooooo iiiiiit" comments I am totally thinking that after the holidays I get back into my magic. Hahah ya. Does it shock you really?? Of COURSE I grew up doing magic haha.
- Dec 11, 11It's December 11 and I am sitting outside for my weekend coffee, there is a briskness in the air and a slight breeze that swirls every now and then. It's not 'cold' though the sun is out, and if your fingers get to cold you just grasp your cup a bit tighter. This city is fantastic. Ok ok. I know that this is an abnormal winter so far. Still. It's pretty kick ass.
I have a lazy Sunday ahead of me. I am waiting for Ryan to show up then for coffee then I'm going to brunch with Wheels. Then I have nothing to do except one load of laundry. Tonight Francine is taking me to a magic show. I think this afternoon I am going to play Star Trek online. I have not had a chance to play in a while.
Oh I also have to finish my "A Day In The Life" challenge that Mike gave me. He wanted me to take a picture every hour. That was not possible. I did get 107 pictures and a couple videos though. Haha I hope he likes it. I think I'll make one of those tacky video picture montages. - Dec 11, 11Got to see Sam this past weekend. Met his new gf. She's cool. We got hammered with my friend Alex at Earls of all places haha. I love my brother. He's coolness.
Sunday was the Priape staff Christmas Party. Oi. Should have taken Monday off. Rooooooough haha Greek food and drinks and drinks and karaoke...oh no
Sunday afternoon was the Santa Clause parade, Wheels and I went for breakfast then did some laundry then went and met up with Rob & Carl. It was fun.
I love my friends. Much laughter - Dec 11, 11I REAAAAAALLLY have to stop listening to comedy and Dave Stories (from the Vinyl Cafe) on the bus. I scare the people next to me when I start laughing. Haha. I am not a quiet laugher either. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to chuckle softly? YEEESH!!!!
- Dec 11, 11A year ago today I was on a plane back to Oz. Today I'm on a train to New West. Least I'm still going places hey?
I am sorta dumbfounded with how fast this year is going by. Like a fart in the wind. I know things feel faster as you get older cause you have more to do. Still. Wow.
The 1st. OH BOY! I decorate my tree this weekend. (provided my decorations arrive in the next couple days. I expect them today really. Should not take too long to get to Oosoyoos. Ooooh and the Christmas music has officially started :D whoot. People at work are complaining about it haha. I love it ;)
This is the view of the sun rising behind Mt Baker in Washington. This is my morning view on a a clear day like today. - Dec 11, 11Had an AWESOME weekend. It was great! My friend Collin came over to Van from Oosoyoos to watch the Grey Cup. It was AWESOME!!! 52,511 people. The stadium was filled to capacity. And the game was amazing. The only thing that got me (didn't notice it till Collin mentioned it) was how tame everyone was when the game was over. I figure it was mostly due to the Stanley Cup BS. Everyone was hyper sensitive about it. And it was a Sunday night. None the less. I am disappointed the city didn't shut down Granville. It's like this city still has not found its balance. Like the pendulum swings to one extreme so the next time they swing it to the other. They don't just leave it to simply sit. Must be all the granola and tree hugging we do down here.
I left my breakfast on the counter this morning. :/ darn it, left my work gloves in my room, and then I got the bottom of the pot with my coffee this morning. Sucks. Hahaha. Mondays...am I right or am I right? Oh well. This is why there is only one Monday a week.
On Saturday I got to visit on Skype with Fran and Birdie and Kyle again. It was glorious!!! DAAAAAMN I miss them. It was so incredibly good to hear from them again.
